Originally Posted by dyakub
Have you ever wanted something but don't know why you wanted it? You try to examine what about your desire that you want but can't understand what it is though theres something that leaves you eager for it. I've been going through this for a while on a certain desire and I think it might be fake or just not what I might want.
very confusing... Still when I think of it, there is still an eagerness for having it. Any thoughts on this?
Without some context--some specifics about the desire and your situation--it's hard to give an answer that will be relevant to you. I can understand why you might not have given more detail, though--that's cool.
I think I can almost always figure out why I want a desire, but sometimes when I go after certain desires, it's because there's actually something that's bothering me and I'm going after what I desire as a way to escape this feeling that bothers me (usually a feeling associated with a certain situation, pattern of thinking, or belief).
Sometimes I think I don't know what I want, but really it's because I lack the courage to face what I really do what or the truth of my situation.
I'm not sure if that'll apply to you, but those are some patterns that crop up for me when a desire is unclear.
On the more positive side, though, sometimes I think of something and I can feel an eagerness or excitement for it and not really know why. In those cases usually there's something about my perception of what I desire that is reflecting back at me something I resonate with (maybe I'm looking at a product, thinking that it'll help teach me a skill that aligns well with my strengths or the energies I want to express). (I say "my perception of what I desire" since sometimes what I think resonates with me doesn't resonate with me once I actually dive into it and experience the reality of it, not just my perception of what it might be like.)
I think an important point (something I learned from Andrea Hess) is that when you desire something, much like when you buy something, you don't desire or buy the specific experience or item--you desire what you believe the experience or item will give you. E.g. Today I bought a pillow. I could careless about pillows; I don't want or need a pillow. What I do want is comfort (it's probably a bit more complicated than that, but comfort sums it up well enough). Pillows do provide comfort, and that's why I bought a pillow. Comfort is what I really bought.
So perhaps look at what it is that you want and look at what you're really getting from it--what do you think it will provide you with? Whatever answer you come up with will be entirely subjective and relative to you. To illustrate that point, recently I read a study about what motivates people to have sex. They asked different people what motivates them and found there were many, many answers. So people might say "I want more sex," but what people really what differs from person to person. E.g. When some people say they want sex, they really mean they want connection. Maybe other people want pleasure. The idea is that two different people can derive different things from the same experience.
I also believe it's quite possible for us to want something, think we know why we want it, and end up being pretty wrong. This is venturing into brain science territory and I don't know enough about brain science to talk about that idea with confidence, but the point is that there are processes at work below the surface of consciousness that might be driving us without us being aware of it. Call it your subconscious, call it your soul, call it the universe, call it fate; call it a divine or "evolutionary, Darwinian" plan--there are many potential labels you put on and concepts you could use to describe things that lie "outside" of your conscious awareness. (For more on that topic, you might enjoy this article
. It might not make sense--might not seem like it applies to your situation--at first, tbut should as you keep reading).
I'm hoping my post is still relevant to you at this point, heh. Basically, my main point is that "things aren't always as simple as they seem." However, if you'd prefer not to analyse things as much, I'd suggest you just trust your gut--your intuition; how you feel. I frequently find that I'm able to get better answers when I stop trying to analyse things (with my conscious mind) and instead just go with what my intuition tells me. Often it doesn't make sense. Often the insight I get is kind of unclear. Perhaps there's a reason for that. But unfortunately in saying that we come back to "things aren't always as simple as they seem" territory.