Originally Posted by billybrads
I guess my question is once I've identified my actual beliefs by observing my actions, how can I begin to change my beliefs and actions to be the ones I actually want and not the ones I currently have?
Your brain is like a switch board and your beliefs form the program that control the switches. As you run through the program, the switches that get used a lot become easier to use. That is what is called forming a habit and it is the basis of using repetition in learning (except haphazard repetition is not the same as informed and intentional repetition).
If you want to change anything, it all starts in your patterns of thinking which ultimately control your actions. Change isn't inherently difficult, but the way your brain works makes it so.
Your actions act out your beliefs, and your beliefs are formed by two things: Your previous actions (habits) and your previous experiences which formed your beliefs in the first place (experiences are basically your understanding of how "reality" works). Realizing that beliefs are arbitrary and relative in nature, and that none of your previous actions and/or beliefs need to influence the current ones is a huge step towards changing your beliefs.
The next step is to try to understand the new beliefs you would like to turn into habits. I would recommend trying to understand where the new belief comes from rather than accepting it because someone else told you so. For example, someone might have told you to eat carrots as they are good for you. That may be so, but knowing why and how they are good for you will get you to act on this belief more easily. Understanding is a great motivator.
Lastly, you can take this one step further by adopting the "subjective reality" point of view where what you experience is simply a validation of what you believe. According to this point of view, the flow is from "inside" to "outside". You believe something first, and then your life unfolds in a way that validates that belief. This seems rather complicated and weird when you come from the "objective reality" perspective where what you experience is separate from you, and your beliefs are formed based on what happens "outside". Thus, the flow is seemingly from "outside" to "inside". Steve and many others (including old mystics) have a ton of written material on this.
It is hard to accept the "subjective reality" point of view because you've already accepted and heavily exercised the belief that "the reality you experience is separate from you and has nothing to do with your beliefs or the inner dialog in your head". It'll take time to shift away from it. You can apply the same techniques I described above to replace this belief.