[brendannz]

Originally Posted by blossom

Hi, I know that it is more than a year since the last post on this thread, but I just found this site and wanted to ask if anyone could help shed some light on something for me.

I am an introverted woman who has been told by mainly extroverted males in my life, that I take myself and life too seriously and to "lighten up"! The people that tell me this are generally arrogant, egotistical, negative and highly critical of others and themselves, and so I wonder whether the problem is actually me, or if it's them?

I have always looked slightly pensive, even as a child, and have a pretty "depressive" streak in me...I am quite melancholic and I kinda like it!
It makes me feel bad when these people tell me to "cheer up", "lighten up" and generally "smile" more, as it doesn't come naturally to me. I do practise smiling, and watch comedies to make me laugh more.
I place a high value on learning to accept myself the way I am, but it makes it difficult when everyone else wants me to be what THEY want! I'm an attractive woman, so I get men telling me to smile all the time...which drives me NUTS, and makes me do the exact opposite. People think I am grumpy and angry, and I have become this way BECAUSE noone will let me be just the way I am!

I had this realisation many years ago, that a smile does not necessarily indicate a person is happy. Infact, people who look happy by smiling constantly are generally wearing a mask to hide their sadness or anger! So why is it that culturally people expect everyone to smile all the time, when it doesn't actually mean the person is happy?

I think I am serious because I see too much of reality and how things really are, and it's just not funny, so it seems more appropriate to be sad about the way of the world...but that's not something society will let me get away with!

Some good points, maybe only you can answer if you need to lighten up or be less serious.. and none of other peoples business..