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Originally Posted by Big C  Im struggling to overcome a serious lack of self esteem. Im 42 and still haent met anyone and it the truth be known am fed up of being on my own. I have no end of confidence in other aspects of my life like in my job, travelling alone, social situations etc but the negativity i feel about myself always has held me back where women are concerned. I have a total hatred of how i look, to the extent i hate having my photo taken, avoid my refelection in mirors etc. Im convinced im so ugly no woman would ever look at me. Apart from hating how i look i do have good points, im honest, caring, generous, humourous, loyal, and i keep telling myself these are qualities women would like. The thing is how do women ever get to know your inner qualities if you dont look like a member of the latest boy band? I keep trying to like myself more knowing if you dont like yourself you cant expect others to, but as always when it comes to women i always seem to take the negative out of every situation, i suppose its all down to confidence with the opposite sex, how i can be confident in other areas and not in personal relations i dont know, people that know me wouldnt dream i have this confidence issue as they all see me as someone who knows their own mind and achieves what i set out to do. When you see guys who abuse women and seem to have no problem going from relationship to relationship it makes you wonder what women really want, i always end up thinking id never treat anyone like that but dont even get the chance of a relationship. I dont know if anyone can offer any advice but i just wanted to get how i feel off my chest. Thanks for taking the time to read it. |
Hey Big C,
This guy David Cain posted a link 88 important truths that are worth reading;
88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life | Raptitude.com
I think they're all worth reading, but particularly;
#47 says If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
There's a link off it about how things in life are only temporary which is worth reading as well;
This Will Never Happen Again | Raptitude.com
The reason there are lots of women who are in relationships with abusive men, is because there are lots of women with low self esteem as well.. They're humans just like we are, and not angels who can save your life.
I think at your age of 42 a woman wouldn't want a man to look like a member of the latest boy band.. and really women are more based on their physical appearances than we are.
You would be better asking yourself how you get to know a women who doesn't look like a member of a girl band... I think..
Just some thoughts that may be useful..