Don't feel bad a lot of people on here are probably in a similar boat.
For me recently I learned how to at least approach and get numbers and talk to women no problem. Been about 2 good weeks and about a couple of months of building up self esteem to know nothing bad will happen. Wost so far were girls who would turn away if you talked to them again after leaving or would seem disingterested and maybe someone else would notice. The positives of course are getting to meet these new ladies. Maybe some will like you or others won't.
Regarding treating women bad and abusing them...I disagree. It's more of a game of treating them equal. Teasing and joking seem to be most effective. Walking up and approaching in a crowded bar is easy because others can't hear what you are saying so no fear of others if that's your problem.
I'm glad I learned how to approach women. My goal now is to find a couple to go out with and always have a few numbers. Hopefully I will find the girl I can go out with on a daily basis. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.
In the past I would fixate on the one number or girl I was talking to and tried to be too nice to them. They don't like that and those same girls I talked with before I have seen them recently. What a difference a little tweaking in your dialog can be. She responded a 100% differently.
You are older than me (I'm 27 and like girls in their early 20s) if you are 42 then you probably are going to go after a different crowd. I'm sure with women that are more mature you have to do things differently. But from what I read women past 30 are worried they won't meet a guy ever and are more desperate. I think you can use that to your advantage and develop some experince with these girls.
My advice for what worked with me...
Go up to any random girl you like and say something you notice about her or the surroundings. She will respond and you build off of that.
-- Start with a current topic like say Michael Jackson since a lot of girls have talked to me about that lately
-- or about the 4th, what are your plans
-- or how the summer TV season sucks
-- or about her Iphone (that has worked well and girls like their phones and most of the *cool ones* have them)
-- Something she is wearing you can tease her about, like how it's too cold to dress in skimpy clothes
-- How the crowd looks in this establishment and how everyone else is the same, dressed one way or the other (they seem to like talking about this)
You get the idea. Just random, lite topics.
Good luck and have fun
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