Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffy Duck  Plato, well, I was 15 when I had my first kiss. Until then practically ZERO girls had a romantic interest in me. I didn't really care though. |
Might as well make my first post (hi everybody!) a deeply honest one
I'm 32 years old and only just lost my virginity this January to the first girl who displayed a real sexual interest in me after getting to know me. We were together for three months after that.
Me having a good deal of social anxiety didn't help in getting to meet girls.. but deep down I guess the real reason was that I didn't think I had anything to offer to a potential partner. Luckily my self-esteem has risen during the last five year after a bout with cancer and I'm now dating although it's still very hard for me to do.
Funny how having cancer can develop real strength and give a sense of perspective about what's important in life. It certainly deactivated my "autopilot" way of living.
As far as approach anxiety goes - I wouldn't say I would rather rob a bank.. but I can give presentations at work, attend business meetings, ride a mountainbike down steep hills, sail an ocean kayak in rough weather, etc. etc. - all without much fear at all. But approaching a woman instills an incredible fear.
An an example - some years ago a woman displayed interest in me at a bar (first time that happened in my life) by having a friend tell me she would like it if I came over and talked to her at some point during the evening. This elevated my fear to a level where my entire body was literally shaking and I couldn't think straight. I ended up putting it off for so long that she left the bar. The fear of approaching someone who hasn't displayed interest scares me even more..