I don't have a lot to add, I think both sides have been discussed thoroughly, but I'd just like to add my 2cents for a little something else to think about.
As far as porn creating the illusion that men desire and expect women to have completely shorn genitalia, well, I'm not so sure. The defining and influential adult films, that basically set the stage for 'modern porn' were from the 70's and early 80's when shaving your pubic hair was almost unheard of. Come to think of it, I think the radical shaving could have come from those morning fitness shows where the girls wear the tiniest leotards, that leave nothing to the imagination, and no coverage for pubic hair of any sort! ...But then again, from what I have been told, many men used those shows as masturbatory material anyway!
Anyway, my point is that I've been on a lot of porn sets, and seen a lot of my friends and co-stars while they were 'working', and it is rare to see a girl who shaves it all. I'd say the most common 'hairstyle' for women in porn is to keep a clean undercarriage, but leave the hair neatly trimmed on top. A lot of girls will be creative with it too, I've seen everything from lightning bolts, arrows, a 'V' for victory, and even a heart! Of all the men I've seen, both professionally and personally, the overwhelming consensus is that the completely bald look is *not* the most desired. I do understand, though, that my observations are based on a small number of men from North American culture. A worldwide survey might get different results.
As far as penis size goes, I'm not going to add much, but I'd like to mention that it's unfortunate that men are so worried about their penis size. Women insult men about their size and his sexual competence becuase they know it's something most men are obsessed with. It's a way to 'hit below the belt', so to speak
, but it's just that. Sort of like when women call another woman 'slut.' It's a nasty, vile, insult, that hurts above all else. Johnny covers this thoroughly in his Seductive Reasoning Paradigm, so I wont elaborate much more than that. As far as women who express the importance for a man to be larger than average in order to satisfy her... this is usually the case of her experiencing the endorphin rush created by the trauma of it. Most of them will change their mind about 'bigger is better' once they meet someone who helps them to achieve real, profound, cathartic climaxes.
I do agree, however, that porn (while choosing men that are well endowed was more of a practical thing... it enabled the camera to capture a lot more of the action if the man can still reach the woman, but his body isn't in the way of the camera or lights), has influenced men's ideals about their size. It's tragic, because, like Johnny said, most women are much happier to have a man that is closer to average in size.
~Violet~