[Michelle]

For years I've struggled with about 30 extra pounds. I've tried almost everything with varying success. This diet, that diet, this way of life, that way of life, counting fat, counting calories, no counting, no meat, yes meat, only meat, raw diet, veganism, no carbs, yes carbs,no dairy, yes dairy, no sugar, lots of sugar, natural whole foods, junk foods, lots of exercise, no exercise, more rest, less rest, pilates, yoga, cycling, jogging, strength training, body awareness, alexander technique ... I could go on. I've felt under so much pressure to make this decision, make that decision ... for every diet or technique you'll find both success stories and naysayers who claim it is the worst thing you can do! What's worse, followers of one diet who are extremely convinced about their choice love to spread guilt and warnings to each other about the dangers or consequences of the other's chosen path. "Definitive" research on any given subject most often points in every direction known to man and adds nothing but more confusion to the pot.

The conclusion I've started coming to is: The reason we don't find an answer is because we are looking in the wrong place.

Diet and exercise are not the answers to health and well-being people believe them to be. Eating healthful foods and wanting to give your body some daily exercise come as a natural response to being ready and internally in that place. And while the body certainly benefits from certain natural foods and a bit of movement those aren't the building block of health.

Feeling good, joyful, loved and loving, relaxed, fulfilled, and free is really important in life and THOSE feelings are the building blocks of health. The reason all of the above techniques failed for me (and most people) is because they are too hard. They go upstream and cause lots of stress and pain in people's lives. I want to be healthy and fit just as much as the next guy, but I don't want to have to kill or deprive myself (I'm thinking: pretty unhealthy) to get there! There is nothing healthy about a body builder who eats right, works out every day but has decades of unexpressed anger or pain to work out which expresses itself through high blood pressure for which he needs to pop 5 pills a day. Good grief.

With so much info available on diet and exercise and everyone focusing on them as the ultimate solution to health, weight loss and well-being it can be incredibly confusing and frustrating for someone wanting to take loving care of herself to figure out the best way to do that.

And today it dawned on me: over the past several years of my own personal development which included weekly therapy and daily meditation my body HAS changed and my health HAS improved. A lot! And truly and honestly, I owe very very little of that improvement to any outer lifestyle adjustments. Every real and lasting improvement has first taken place on the inside. Everything I approached with an outside-first-attitude has sometimes temporarily succeeded but ultimately failed. Any lasting and successful outer adjustments in my life first came from being internally motivated and then seemed very easy and natural. Anything I tried to do without this motivation was extremely hard, exhausting, stressful and didn't work. Anything that wasn't ultimately loving to myself (and actually FELT good and loving - not the kind of pain and suffering people like to claim is love because that is how they think love feels) failed. Everything done lovingly, succeeds.

That's why I think the best "work out" you can give yourself is an internal one. Figuring out what your weight and health problems are ACTUALLY about (for this Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life is great!) along with meditations, working out those issues at the core level with lots of loving support, self love and self soothing, and a committment to gradually surrendering upon path of least resistance - the natural flow of life - can't help but lead to health and well-being. We humans think we know it all but sometimes we are so incredibly arrogant!

Edit: I'd just like to add (for anyone who is interested) the most important things I have done in order to gain health and fitness were to FORGIVE and LOVE. You don't realize just how exhausting holding a grudge can be and how dead you can feel if you don't allow yourself to be "nourished" by real love.