Another vote for what Lena said
A couple of years ago I felt much the same. I was in a dark and dirty rut of my own construction. After a while, an idea came to me. If I was going to be stuck in a rut, I could at least clean it up. Do some decorating.
There were lots of things I couldn't do, or bring myself to do. But I came up with a list of things I could do. Things that I liked (even I only liked them a little). Things that would make the rut just a little nicer as I paced between the ends. I tried small different things. One day I tried making a loaf of bread. And it was good! Now I make all the bread for my household.
Life isn't perfect yet (hah!), but bread is one reliable enjoyable thing to do a couple of times a week. Do some decorating in your own way. Maybe someday I'll learn how to build a ramp.
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