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Originally Posted by g5etbox  Thanks people for the words of support, finding time to relax and meditate is difficult. My partner is very clingy as she so frighten with what she is going through and the amount of care she needing has just increased. She is the one heavily into new age way of thinking and always reading the books. The comments about guilt are correct. I wonder however if I am able to be strong enough or be allowed to have a close friend and lover? What if your intentions go against the bigger picture? If what you seek is not the best thing for you or others? All this sexual tension has been making me ill and I have been lashing out and poor emeralbaby has been on the end of some stormy chats over the years. She keeps saying she can’t be what I want even as a close friend! Is the happiness of one worth the pressure it places on others, when does needs become a want! |
Then use the care as your meditation. Get one of the books 'Zen and the art of....' any of them will do. Meditation is essentially trying to clear your thoughts and empty your mind. It is entirely possible to do this while performing an activity. I 'meditate' lightly when I draw, when I program and when I jog. Throw yourself so intently into whatever you are doing that you stop thinking.
A lot of your tension and stress will actually come from talking to yourself constantly about how stressed you are. Stop that talk, or replace it with talk about how soothing caring for someone is, and it will become that.
There is no 'bigger picture', life is now, that's it.
Reading this post I am guessing that you say these things, and similar, to yourself, over and over every day. That is the cause of most of your tension, you telling yourself your tense and that you can't take it.
Read the post again to yourself and realise that you are most definitely focussed on the negative in the situation. The only way to get out of that spiral is to focus on the positive.
I am going to ask you to write a post detailing as many good things about your spouse, your life and your family as you can think of. Then focus on these things, think about these things, and they will become your life.
The only way to change it, is to change yourself. You can't be intending good, if you are just talking and thinking about the bad. What you are doing then is
wanting the good.
Wanting the good does the opposite, it creates the bad because what you are really intending is 'I don't have this thing, and I have these strong feelings of not having it' The universe then says "Ok Boss got it! You don't have it - check, you feel bad beause you don't have it - check. Done!"
Ok! So you aren't alowed to post here again unless it is a positive post, laced with your intentions for a better life, and not just complaints about the bad you currently have!
I wish I was a moderator and could actually back that up
