[almost]

Hi guys/girls

I really dont know how to say it, I am in such a mess right now, I just got my results from uni, im in second year first semester and I failed, nothing went right this year, im just so stuck, need some advice.

Firstly, I failed my uni in second year, I honestly really dont know what to do now, I got the retakes, but at such short time (its in july), and in the mess im in right now, I doubt I will have a chance to pass it, this is not because im giving up, but its because I am somewhat ill right now, to a degree it affects my studies, partially why I failed.

I am really in a situation where I dont know what to do, I honestly could jump off a cliff if I didn’t know its wrong, but I need a solution, just mind is so messed right now ill explain everything because im having problems in every part of my life right now, could you lot please advice me, id really appreciate it.

I know the exact reasons I failed, I just got diagnosed with an illness, nothing serious, just on some medication and all. Towards my exam times and end of semester, I dont know why, but my stupid body decides to trigger then, which makes me go in and out of hospital, actually I was in hospital for two weeks just two weeks ago, that is one thing know effected my studies, but I cant use that as a reason because the university does not accept “long term illnesses” as a reason for failure, which I understand to some extent.

When I was in uni, I had to work, most of the time, more than 16 hours, I had to do this, im not well off in the financial sense, and I dont want to ask anyone for money, never will, thats why I worked my ass off, I knew it was messing up my studies to some extent, but I could not take out another loan, I needed to do this, I dont regret it because I had to, but I still have no money because I had to help mom with bills and give her some money, so im 0 for 0 right now.

I know some of you might think this is another reason, but I dont think so because she really helped me a lot the first year, helped me pass and get through things. But I want to marry my partner, been together for 2 years, shes traditional girl, so she wants everything serious or nothing If you know what I mean. But for me to be able to marry her, I need to learn her language (to be accepted by her parents), save up money, get a good job and get a good degree (again to be accepted), but all seems to be down the drain now.

My parents and siblings, im the oldest in the family, been a lab mice really, my parents keep pressuring me to do well, and I want to so there happy, plus I want to set a good example for the younger ones, but man, ive never been able to do anything I want! I dont know how am going to break it to them, or anyone else really.

Im sorry I am I sound like a little boy right now, but im just having a moments of indecisiveness, I hope you lot can help. I just dont want to screw up anyones life.

Im worried more about the education/financial side of things at the moment, the problem is, the longer education is, the more money I spend, im willing that investment, but considering everything in its context I dont know what to do.

Im considering dropping out for my uni and going to another one, I dont know, I really need to do something.

I forgot the question I was going to ask now, well considering everything I said, can u lot please give me some words of wisdom because im going to need it, tomorrow might be getting my ass kicked or brain will be getting waves of negative energy from people around me.

I am in a mess I know, but I know there is a solution, just finding it hard to come up with some at the moment, i cant even sleep anymore these days, but i just need to do something!!!!

Your advices would be much appreciated, esp regarding the education/work part.

Thank you in advance again.