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all i can say is that i haven't lived my life so far the way i wanted.And i know that it's because of me and its noone elses fault.i have considered suicide may times but i know there is more to do in this life for me.
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Wow! This reminds me so much of myself.
Firstly, don't judge yourself too harshly. When ur actions repeatedly go in vain, just observe ur -ve feelings rise & become more determined (mad!) than ever to bounce back.
About suicidal thoughts: Understand that they r
never an option.
I know it might be mostly an impulsive urge borne out of frustration & feelings of helplessness & being trapped. But beware, & be very careful, these thoughts r dangerous. Never indulge them. If reasoning with yourself (by thinking soundly, logically & understanding ur mind) works 4 u then use the following reasons to dissuade such thoughts:
1. What do u do when some1 gifts u something nice (say a nice videogame console)...? Don't you express gratitude & enjoy the gift ?
Well, your life is a gift from your parents.
A gift like no other; that makes you experience this lifetime. So, understand that u need to be grateful to your parents 4 this wonderful gift & enjoy it to the max!
2. Just imagine 4 a second, what if u r meant to undergo all these experiences (especially the troublesome ones) in order to truly touch other ppl's lives in a great way ? Wouldn't it be a great loss to all of us, if u continued thinking such thoughts of despair ? So, just continue to hang in there with an open mind abt such a thing happening...(u never know when, u've just got to keep waiting & u'll see how u can use urself & all of ur experiences to help others one day)
I can tell u from personal experience, that if u r persistent & really want it, progress is certain (just might not initially be @ the pace u'd like).
Don't know if this applies to u, but if u feel bad being judged unfavorably by others then gradually start believing that only ur own judgement of urself really matters...& u'll always judge urself well coz u know u r good!
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I would really appreciate if you could give me some advice on how to start from zero,put goals in my life and start working for them
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This is something that I'm working on too (well maybe slightly higher than zero in my case)...so I expect to see a fellow adventurer join the quest. We can get in touch through messages & brainstorm ideas, what say u ?
If I've probably said a lot more than what u needed to hear, please ignore the excess. I only have the best intentions in mind!
Stay tough & hang in there, scorpionpm!
Remember, the human spirit has infinite potential; no fall is too deep to recover from!