Leela, maybe it's not so much about the person who you say had a personality disorder, but that you attracted a person who presented you with this challenge; you dealt with the challenge by defining your boundaries, and yet the whole relationship still seems to be causing you pain even though it's in the past.
Your encounter with this lady was a great gift for you, one that keeps on giving, and all you have to do is unwrap it. I hope you share what you uncover with us.
(by the way, "histrionic personality disorder"??? Is that for real, because it is very funny. I guess not so funny to the people who deal with it!)