Here is a song from Anathema that describes my situation exactly.
The song is called "Lost Control"...
Life has betrayed me once again,
I accept some things will never change.
I've let your tiny minds magnify my agony,
and it's left me with a chem'cal dependency for sanity.
Yes, I am falling... how much longer till I hit the ground?
I can't tell you why I'm breaking down.
Do you wonder why I prefer to be alone?
Have I really lost control?
I'm coming to an end,
I've realised what I could have been.
I can't sleep so I take a breath and hide behind my bravest mask,
I admit I've lost control.
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