Quote:
Originally Posted by mibjkk  In my [URL="http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/social-relationships/33757-eliminating-humor-become-serious.html"]
When I do talk enough, I fall into a few pits. I either: a) Talk primarily about myself. b) Offer unsolicited advice and sweeping generalizations about other people's situations. or c) bring up boring topics like the weather
So, here is the main question and some elaboration. What are effective ways to contribute fully to conversations with others?
I want communication advice for conversations with - Co-workers/boss
- General acquaintances/distant friends
- Women who I do not know well (meeting and dating)
I want my communication to: - Convey high value about myself
- Interest, but not necessarily "entertain" the other person
- Carry emotional charge with it
This is a broad question, but I just want some ideas and musings.
I want to experiment with different approaches, but here is what I plan on trying to apply:
1) Relate personal anecdotes about some topic in conversation that focuses on the emotions in the anecdote as well as displaying high personal value
2) Dig deep to talk about common interests in some sort of emotionally charged way (excitement, fear, etc).
Basically, I'm going to try the 'cool' but emotional approach, by showing relatively low non-verbal emotional signs, but using language and voice to project highly emotional feelings to the listener. |
I have the same problems with your a, b, c pits you fall into. I personally believe, because 90% of communication is non-verbal, then your states that you approach socialising in, determines how successful you will be moreso than the actual words you use.
I try and communicate effectively and naturally by saying what comes to mind more, with less analysis, and trying to live a happy life, so I communicate happily.
However, I must admit I'm not the worlds best communicator, I need to improve.. Plus since your last experiment was a success, I think you're probably going in a right direction for you..