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mibjkk · 06-28-2009, 06:29 AM

In my previous post, I described my origins as a highly humorous person, and my recent journey to eliminate that unnecessary humor. I am 20 and lack great social skills, largely due to my newly ended humor addiction.

Now, I find that I have cut at least half of my own communications away. I want to speak between 40% and 50% in most conversation, but I find that I either end up in a primarily listening role, or the conversations fall apart awkwardly.

When I do talk enough, I fall into a few pits. I either: a) Talk primarily about myself. b) Offer unsolicited advice and sweeping generalizations about other people's situations. or c) bring up boring topics like the weather

So, here is the main question and some elaboration.

What are effective ways to contribute fully to conversations with others?
I want communication advice for conversations with

Co-workers/boss
General acquaintances/distant friends
Women who I do not know well (meeting and dating)

I want my communication to:

Convey high value about myself
Interest, but not necessarily "entertain" the other person
Carry emotional charge with it

This is a broad question, but I just want some ideas and musings.

I want to experiment with different approaches, but here is what I plan on trying to apply:
1) Relate personal anecdotes about some topic in conversation that focuses on the emotions in the anecdote as well as displaying high personal value
2) Dig deep to talk about common interests in some sort of emotionally charged way (excitement, fear, etc).

Basically, I'm going to try the 'cool' but emotional approach, by showing relatively low non-verbal emotional signs, but using language and voice to project highly emotional feelings to the listener.

06-28-2009, 06:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
mibjkk Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4	How to effectively communicate? In my previous post, I described my origins as a highly humorous person, and my recent journey to eliminate that unnecessary humor. I am 20 and lack great social skills, largely due to my newly ended humor addiction. Now, I find that I have cut at least half of my own communications away. I want to speak between 40% and 50% in most conversation, but I find that I either end up in a primarily listening role, or the conversations fall apart awkwardly. When I do talk enough, I fall into a few pits. I either: a) Talk primarily about myself. b) Offer unsolicited advice and sweeping generalizations about other people's situations. or c) bring up boring topics like the weather So, here is the main question and some elaboration. What are effective ways to contribute fully to conversations with others? I want communication advice for conversations with Co-workers/boss General acquaintances/distant friends Women who I do not know well (meeting and dating) I want my communication to: Convey high value about myself Interest, but not necessarily "entertain" the other person Carry emotional charge with it This is a broad question, but I just want some ideas and musings. I want to experiment with different approaches, but here is what I plan on trying to apply: 1) Relate personal anecdotes about some topic in conversation that focuses on the emotions in the anecdote as well as displaying high personal value 2) Dig deep to talk about common interests in some sort of emotionally charged way (excitement, fear, etc). Basically, I'm going to try the 'cool' but emotional approach, by showing relatively low non-verbal emotional signs, but using language and voice to project highly emotional feelings to the listener.