Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedragon  I am asking especially those of you who live your lives by the principles of peace, tolerance, honesty and freedom. How do you manage to live by those principles in real life, especially in complex situations. I am very curious about how YOU think about this, because I am having increasing doubts about my own ability to adequately function (and survive) in a complex situation for more than... a few days at best  , given the fact that I want to live by the above principles. |
I'd like to consider myself virtuous. At the very least, as much as I'm reasonably able to given the constraints of my own current personal growth, I do my best to consider a holistic perspective--sort of like oneness.
For a long time I thought I was doing pretty well, but as I started having new experiences, I found my values and commitment to them was tested.
To make a long story short, I found there were no right or wrong answers... nothing is as black and white as it seems. But you sure can suffer a lot trying to find such answers.
Lately I've been realising that when it comes to things like values, the reason I have them is because, through the (virtuous) acts they inspire, they help me to feel good. E.g. It feels good to me to be kind... to care. It feels good to be honest and truthful. It feels good to consider other people (in fact, that's one of the reasons I strive to be virtuous... I guess that's the oneness perspective coming into play).
What I started to notice was that, in essence, I was taking action (aligning with different values by taking actions that resonate with them) to feel better. And for a long time that worked. Recently it seems reality has said "sorry... it's time to upgrade your model; this old one doesn't work anymore."
Recently, more than ever, I've been shown (or at least, seeing) that action is a poor supplement for feeling really good. For a lot of my life I've relied on certain conditions to feel good, and I can see how complicated life would have to become for me if I maintained that. It would be a constant struggle--one I'd prefer not to engage in.
So instead of aligning with my values--taking action--in order to feel good, these days I'm deciding to feel good simply because so much relief comes from it. I'm probably also doing it because I hope that in my feeling better, the law of attraction will respond and bring situations that match that, but if I'm not careful, even feeling good to impact manifestations is kind of like using action to feel better (and as such, it's sort of like pushing against a situation and trying to change it through action).
This is a new way of being for me. I've never really made feeling good for the sole reason that it feels good my #1 priority. In the past I'd probably have said such a thing is a bit foolish--maybe about denial. But these days, I'm more realistic, I think. And so instead of only endevouring to live virtuously, I'm also doing my best to focusing on feeling good.
I notice when I feel good, it's like I become more effective. Ideas flow. I'm kinder to people. I'm more aware, and I acknowledge subtle things more (including things about other people, which is nice).
When I don't feel good, I feel like my capacity to do things is limited. Actions I take seem like a struggle. It just feels like, on some level, I'm trying to go against the current. For me, it's so much easier to stop fighting (i.e. doing whatever it is that's making me feel not-so-good) and to relax... to do what I can to start feeling good again.
A while ago I explored desire in an attempt to figure out what our primary motivation is. It was strange to discover at the time, but I found that the reason any of us really do anything is because, on some level, it makes us feel better in doing it. That feeling of may be a small blip of relief, or it might be a surging wave of positivity, but either way, it does indeed seem that feeling good is what motivates us. I'm not saying that it's sort of like a "seek pleasure, avoid pain model," but more of a "we do things, but deep down, we do all of those things to feel better." Having pleasure as your #1 motivation would probably begin to start feeling bad after a while, but in my experience and observations, doing things (whether it be thinking or taking action) to feel better doesn't seem to cap out. It seems to always lead you to (or maintain) a state of feeling good (at least, I hope it does. I'm all out of ideas if that approach doesn't work
).
* * *
So I guess my point is "I understand virtue. I've done my best to honour my values. For me, it hasn't been enough. Values are important to me and I certainly honour them, but at the moment, I'm experimenting with feeling good."
I'll still be honest. I'll still be kind. Most of all, I'll still be authentic (where honesty and kindness kind of flow naturally). But the reason I do them is not just because I like the results of actions aligned with those things, but because it feels good. Lucky for me, I have a strong desire to be honest, kind, and authentic, so I don't ever imagine doing the opposite would feel good to me.
(... so alas, you can't pose me the "but what if it didn't feel good to be authentic?" question. And besides, answering that question doesn't feel good to me.
)