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Originally Posted by SupersecretIdentity  I don't think people who are naturally sociable and self-confident can really understand what it's like not to be. "Just be yourself" has absolutely NO meaning to someone who doesn't even know who they really are. It's like trying to describe color to a blind person. The PUA community is great at giving repeatable instructions on how to work on self actualization. The "light" side of pickup is really just a zen how-to presented with a dating context.
Unfortunately, a lot of the guys who get drawn to pickup are very analytical and goal oriented. It is VERY easy for them to get caught up in a "If i follow steps 1,2,3 and do A B C, then X will do Y". They inadvertently turn dating into a numbers game, and get caught up trying to optimize their strategy. If you lurk on PUA forums, you will see several guys who talk about trying to improve their success rate, get more reference experiences, etc. Basically, they miss the big picture and get so wrapped up in the results that they end up doing the exact opposite of the zen approach which is ACTUALLY attractive.
The good thing about pickup, is if you are careful not fall into that trap, it's a really great starting point for personal development. It gives you goals, actual ways to achieve those goals, measurable progress. If you do it right, you actually will get better at dating, and will gain a lot of other less tangible benefits too. |
Dude, this is like the BEST summary I've ever seen, lol, yeah. I wish this forum had a "vote up" function, lol.
But yeah, basically, even though 99% of the community is ****ed up misogynistic weirdos teaching other socially misscalibrated weirdos...
There is a HUGE potential for it being spring-board into personal development. In fact, some of the most developed people I know started out there... But as it is, the community needs serious reform.
But again, its really sad when it gets hold of a social misfit (like the OP and others), and then it turns them into these guys who go around weirding people out, and feeling "superior" for it... Lol.
The 1% who do get good results from the community are people who are already pretty natural, and just come in and take up what's useful, laughing at the weird stuff, and learning a few distinctions.
The kids who turn it into their identity... scary