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Originally Posted by happymomof2  Have any of you read Byron Katie's book Loving What Is? Steve's message sounds very similar to Katie's, specifically the process she calls "The Turnaround."
If you're interested, check out her website http://www.thework.com/. I find myself automatically employing her 4-step process (followed most importantly by the "turnaround'), whenever I am bothered by relationship issues.
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I definitely see the parallels with Byron Katie - she advises parents to start picking up the socks if you want your kids to pick up the socks. Sort of hard for me to stick to completely.
Okay - so my daughter is goofing off on the computer and IMing her friends instead of doing homework or chores, and her grades are not what they should be - I am goofing off on the computer when I should be working? Yes. She is disrespectful - I am disrespectful to her - yes. She pointed out to me when I commented on her report card, that I am not the most exemplary mother (yes, exemplary) - perfect choice of words.
Then my relationship with my mother - last night she called me and was so difficult that after 30 minutes, I told her that I'd had enough and hung up on her, then spent several hours lying awake in bed reminding myself that she is irrational and delusional and I can't do anything about it So I should be more sane? Have to think about this.