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Originally Posted by brendannz  He's quite a smart and clever guy, he's spoken at universities.. but his relationships with women and probably men as well, are totally calculated so entirely superficial.. Doesn't just say and do what is natural.. it seems |
The Rules community is also totally full of this superficiality. Flat-iron your hair, giggle a lot. Change the subject when things get too deep.
It has gone way beyond what's actually in the book - the book's tactics are defensive, not manipulative. It just guides women to not act desparate and available.
The way the community treats it, however, is another matter.
I'm actually starting to feel negative toward The Rules - it helped me in the beginning, with learning to have healthy boundaries in relationships, not have fantasy relationships, and move beyond crushing to actually dating. But I feel like it's full of "sleepers" (I've described this in other entries - I went on a 3 month board hiatus since then though) who mistake their distorted, negative worldview for reality. Most of them do not believe in love LOA or calibration, for example. TR is an EXTREMELY rigid and uncalibrated approach that asks all women to treat all love interests as if the situation were Night Game. The social context of talking to someone you meet at a company picnic is TOTALLY different from the social context of the singles scene.
I've learned far more about my "game" from PUAs than I've ever learned from any female-oriented community - god, that could be a book. "What I learned about dating, from PUAs."
I've actually gotten into some toxic thinking from TR. I feel like I will need a deprogrammer. For a while, I became so addicted to that community and those books that I felt like my life was revolving around that. I really can see how PUAs fall into this trap even MORE since PUA is FAR more technical and nuanced than Rules.