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Originally Posted by eastcoastgirl  I have a friend who is habitually late; I’m habitually on time. How is she a reflection of me? And my being on time has not influenced her to be on time. She's still just as late as ever. |
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Originally Posted by Tsuyu Your theory wouldn't work in that example, because you would need to have some kind of relationship with George Bush in order for it to work. If you were, say, just a regular US citizen who thinks Bush's leadership skills are sub par, and you decided to work on your own leadership skills, I don't see how that would affect him. |
I think that what Steve is saying, is that it's our perception of the person that determines our relationship with them. We can't control all the actions of another person, but we can control how we feel about their actions.
If you have a friend that's always late and you're always on time, it's how you feel about her being late that matters. If it doesn't bother you that she's always late, then you will not think of her being late. Being late wouldn't even be an issue. For example, you'll tell her to meet you at 3:00 pm and as you know she will be 15 mins late, you can arrive 15 mins late yourself. This way no one is really late, but both on time! You don't have to tell her you're coming late. You can set up a system to meet her "late on purpose" if her tardiness does bother you. Other than that, stop being emotionally affected by her tardiness.Then she'll keep showing up late or maybe on time. Either way, you will be indifferent to the results.
And about George Bush. I believe that there is some good in everyone. We don't have to agree with all their actions all the time. If you can see the good in Bush, then you'll see the good in yourself. For example, Bush may not be the most popular president, but he has some good qualities. Look at his good qualities. He is someone who's persistant to what he believes in (the Iraq War). You don't to agree with his reasons for going to Iraq. But if you see that he is determined to not give up on something that is important to him, you can become more committed to something that is important in your own life.
The minute you think of another person, you have a relationship with them. Even if you see someone on the street for five seconds, they are apart of your life. Everyone that comes into your consciousness is someone you have a relationship with.