Quote:
Originally Posted by marinik  I have done most of this all my life. Am the best looking NO am I the smartest NO am I the most successful NO... riches NO...funniest NO but I love myself because I have almost always been the best version of myself. People are attracted to me like magnets. Not just men (although I have never had a lack..  ) everybody wants to be with me. Why? Because I am fine with who I am, do not seek outside validation, approval...love. I used to be and ugly duckling and then one day I decided I would rather be a beautiful swan. I built it from inside out. Look at the best paid and the most famous female stars! They are not all the prettiest or the best built ones. They have personality! Build one for yourself. Fake it till you make it.  |
You don't love yourself, you're in love with things about yourself. It's a conditional love, always doubting, always looking for an excuse to turn into hate. If your body suddenly ballooned out of your control, you'd go crazy. All that self-love would become self-doubt and anger and frustration.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what you're doing. By all means, keep doing it, it seems to be working. But it won't make you happy. You won't find happiness in thinness or smartness or social acceptance or success. All these things are temporary, and the temporary by definition cannot last forever. If you base your happiness on temporary things, you will always have that voice which is triggered by the offenses of others telling you that things could change for the worse at any moment. That you aren't pretty or smart or successful enough for it to last forever.
So where is lasting joy and peace found? I can't say from experience, but I suspect that it's found in that which is eternal and unchanging and unnameable. Once something is named, it becomes a thing, and all things change. So the unchanging truth must not be a thing. Observe and see the insubstantiality of all things, and you will eventually have to see past that to the truth beyond.
I know that this all sounds impractical and mystical, but practicality itself isn't practical if it doesn't bring you any lasting peace or joy. There has to be a way to become unconditionally joyful, and since it's not found in self-affirmations or personal development, it must be found somewhere beyond that. If unconditional joy isn't what you want, then that's fine. But you'll never be free of that voice in your head as long as you rely on it to tell you how great you are, and you'll never be truly happy.