Have any of you read Byron Katie's book
Loving What Is? Steve's message sounds very similar to Katie's, specifically the process she calls "The Turnaround."
If you're interested, check out her website
http://www.thework.com/. I find myself automatically employing her 4-step process (followed most importantly by the "turnaround'), whenever I am bothered by relationship issues.
I have a couple of other thoughts on this topic that are floating around in my head, but I can't seem to formalize them at this hour (10pm after an evening of night skiing with my two young kids!), so I'll repost when the thoughts are more clear.