Re: tidiness... The source of the conflict was internal because I wasn't satisfied with my own level of order. My life had become more complicated at the time, and my old systems were proving that they were no longer adequate. Hence my internal feeling was that my standards weren't high enough, which is exactly the feeling that was manifesting through my relationships with others.
We have relationships with everyone, even George Bush, because all relationships are in our thoughts. If a person is in your thoughts, you have a relationship with that person.
If you don't believe you can change someone's behavior remotely just by working on the part of yourself that person represents to you, try it and see what happens.