Hi Sixx1984,
Reading your responses it struck me that you are in a FANTASTIC place. I know it might not feel like it right now, but you really are.
Right now you are questioning everything and taking nothing forgranted. How many other people sleepwalk through life, repeating the patterns of their parents and grandparents without even thinking? But not you. You can see that things aren't working, despite how much people protest about the ways things 'should' be.
You can see the self-defeating half-truths, the hypocrisy, the rigid holding onto outdated beliefs that are being handed down to you. You've accepted them for a long time, but now you can see they aren't right or set in stone. It feels weird and confusing because you haven't quite worked out how to deal with them, and what you want in their place.
I think NLP would really help release you from some of the limiting beliefs you've absorbed.
I also think Bryon Katies The Work would be really good. You could start with statements "I have to sacrifice myself in my relationship." or "Having kids is the end of my life!" One of the questions she asks is, "Is that
really true?" Google it to find her page. You can watch videos of how to do it, and get the questions for free.
You will get through this. You're intelligent, ambitious, articulate, self-aware. You don't have to repeat the lives of your parents and what was right for them. They love you and want you to be safe. But safe isn't what you want. (My mum and nan also worry about my imaginary children too so I totally get where you are coming from there.)
Often previous generations have ideas that simply don't work in the current world. (My nan phoned me up 2 weeks before my 26th birthday after I had been single for 2 months to say she was worried I would be 'left on the shelf!' and she didn't like to think of me sitting in on my own because I 'had no-one to take me out'. She just wouldn't believe I was having the best, happiest social life being single. Your parents will tell you what they think worked for them and kept them safe 30 - 50 years ago. But they are not you, living your life right now. You need to choose your own path.
Right now you are at the beginning of a fantastic journey. Yes the start is rocky, but stick with it - you will succeed. Keep questioning and noticing what works for you and what doesn't. Question everything
