i will start with a disclaimer that i am not a professional therapist or anything...but i am a person who has dealt with depression from a very young age...though not officially diagnosed till later in life and currently decided to go back on anti depressants...and take anti anxiety medication as needed.....it sounds like (and i was diagnosed as the same) you may be bi polar...or what used to be called manic depressive...very up one minute and full of despair the next. i have be diagnosed (depending on the doctor) as bipolar or as having a depressive-anxiety disorder...either way...if you need something to adjust your mood, or truly have some kind of chemical imbalance...the only way to be sure is to see professionals and be evaluated...the crying, the sleeping, the wanting to die...all part of it....at 25, you are way too young to think you are washed up or so old you'll be left with nothing...you need to do what fulfills you and makes you happy as well as supporting yourself. i don't mean to be critical but your partner and your parents need to give you a break. you need to get yourself well...as far as friends are concerned...and i speak from experience...if you are not comfortable with yourself you will not have a lot to offer and may inadvertantly attract negative people to you. the people that really know you and love you will feel that way now and later when you get stronger..i don't know where you are at spiritually...but if you have any kind of faith...lean on that...it helps in your darkest, lonliest moments....the very best of luck you....you can do it and make it!
