Quote:
Originally Posted by siryessir08  I'd like them to live happier lives. This is why I was posting this. I was just wondering if anyone here has had success in bringing positive changes to their parents' way of thinking, and if so, how they did it. |
How I did it... was change the way I think about them. I stop judging them and start accepting them and their choices. Sure, they are not the choices I would make. But hey, my choices are not the choices they would make either. See the similarities?
So instead of telling my parents how to be... I. stop. it. (Hm... sounds like what they are doing to
me.) When I'm with my parents, it's quality time. They say I should x, y, z and I go, I appreciate and know you care. But you raised me right, so I will be ok.
Some techniques I use:
1. give them what I want from them. I want them to stop telling me what to do. To affirm my choices. So I give that to them. It works wonders!
2. validate their feelings. Reassure them. you may have to do this over and over in different ways. It helps if you really believe it yourself.
3. hear their love, ignore the rest.
Another thing that helps is by being a strong independent person who is in love with his life. And when your parents see you truly happy with who you are, they will be happy too. Resisting them doesn't help me. Lecturing them doesn't help me. Spending quality time, hearing their love, and generously giving them what I seek helps me heaps. But it's a long slog of a road, but the good news is... the only person who has to take action is me. That makes me 100% responsible as well as 100% powerful. And I like that.