"after one topic dies so does the conversation." It's because you're 100% focused on yourself.
I can tell you the NUMBER one issue here is being self-conscious. I used to have difficulty being social, hell I still experience awkward silences from time to time... but the whole problem is you are being aware of yourself, how you are coming off, if what you are saying is interesting, how the other person is perceiving you, if you're saying the "right things" if you may offend them... all that stuff adds up to not wanting to talk much, if at all.
Take the focus off you and put it onto the other person. Become genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Become an active listener (but you can't do that while you are listening to your own damn thoughts). Look at it like you're discovering someone, people have many things about them that are interesting, and everyone is different so their own viewpoints can be endlessly fascinating, if that's what you expect to experience.
It takes some work to get from point a to point b. I never thought I'd be posting on a forum giving tips on conversational skills, holy crap I used to be so freaking quiet. Sometimes I surprise myself, like this morning when I got my haircut, it was a new lady doing it, and I made small talk with her. Never used to do that. It's becoming something that I enjoy.
Start small. Say hello first, if you can do that while looking natural. Try to make conversation with strangers, a good one is the people who work behind counters, like at grocery stores, gas stations, just say how's it going. Just say SOMETHING. Anything. Just start talking. It's a game, you get points everytime you open your mouth. It gets easier.
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