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Originally Posted by Lawliet  Do you possibly have some resentment issues with your parents to iron out? The memory of them doing this to you could just be a key to a larger problem - a tiny reminder of something they often did (not consulting you or considering your feelings) |
Oh, absolutely. I am perfectly aware of things that were very wrong in the way my parents treated me. Only it's in the past and I can't change the past. They no longer have any power over me, so I should just shrug off the past and go on living my life now.
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Originally Posted by carenkh I'm wondering about the metaphorical meaning of those toys. What do they symbolize for you? Do you feel like other things were taken from you without your permission? (joy of being, self-determination, self-will) |
That's a long story, bu in short, I have clinged to stuff as long as I can remember. As a child, I tended to excessively hang on to things as well as people. Eventually, I realised that I was making a fool of myself by doing that, so I began to consciously suppress my desire to cling to everything.
I can imagine that a psychologist would most likely say that I didn't get enough parental love and attention in very early childhood. I wouldn't be able to verify that, as I can't remember so far back. It seems plausible, however, but that's a long story, too, and again, it's in the past and digging it out, even if I could, would hardly be of any help today, would it?
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Originally Posted by Lawliet Perhaps you miss your childhood, freedom and/or innocence. |
Yes, I often feel that I emotionally miss my childhood, although intellectually I can hardly think of anything worth missing back then. When I try to observe my feelings, that yearning has got something to do with being without worries, being taken care of, being unable to notice bad things. And yes, innocence. And, of course, I have badly missed my friends and the friendly environment that I had lost when we moved to the big city.