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Originally Posted by elliot  I tend to overanalyze either other people or myself. I could definitely use some motivation (ie kick in the ass) when it comes to advice on communicating with people I'm not sure I have common ground with. |
Communicating with people that you have no common ground can be tricky. It does require one thing of you which is to be interested in the other person. This is huge. This person has nothing in common with you so it is your job to listen to them, hear about what they like to do, what they are into and learn about them. Most people love talking about themselves. Not all but most. Now the other person might not be as social/talkative and not everyone is, so don't worry if the conversation goes stale or they don't seem that interested in sharing. Share a little bit about yourself too which will help them share more.
In order to make true friends, you need to find a common ground with the stranger. As you are listening, try to find common ground. It could be life experiences, current goals, hobbies, work, passion, believes, morals, whatever. That's the way to connect with people and one way to make true friends. The more they see that you are similar to them, the more likely they will connect with you and more likely you will connect with them and then become friends.
The other thing is if there's no common ground at all between you and the other person, it'll be harder to be true friends.
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Originally Posted by elliot In a crowd of 200 people I could easily not say a word to any of them. My job involves talking to people all the time though face to face, which is weird.. Advice? |
Why do you not say a word to anyone? Is it because you don't want to? Do you have approach anxiety? You don't know what to say? As for work, do you talk about things to co-workers besides work?
As a bit of encouragement, your ability to talk to people at work means that you have the ability to talk to people outside of work. It just seems like you need a little bit of practice to nurture that ability.