I struggled with this one for a long time. I tried everything, and discovered that you just can't make yourself like yourself. Trying to manipulate the feeling that you feel when you think of yourself or look at yourself in the mirror just doesn't work.
About two years ago, my self-esteem shot through the roof when I made a huge realization: self-love is derived not from how you think of youself, but what you
do for yourself. Love of any kind is
action, not just feelings. No different with self-love.
I started investing my time in creating a life I wanted to live, rather than spending my time trying to
feel better.
Like you say, I wanted to like myself first, because then I'd finally be free to spend my time on things that are more important. I'm convinced now that it has to work the other way though. The action must come first, and suddenly you'll have a lot more respect for yourself, because you're respecting your
time too.
This was a very profound discovery for me. I've explained further it
here.
Quote:
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I'm tired or getting offended by other people when in reality I'm just offending myself. I want to stop offending and hurting and rejecting myself.
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This is a real important insight. I learned that whenever I felt like someone was judging me, I was only ever judging myself.
I also discovered that whenever I resented something in somebody else (such as laziness or selfishness) it was only because I despised those qualities in myself. Now I'm convinced that any time I judge somebody it's because I'm not okay with myself and my behavior.
I hope this is helpful to you
