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Originally Posted by carenkh  I think it depends on the kid. I have one child who let me know very clearly that he needed me a lot, from very early on. To force autonomy on him when he didn't want that would have been very damaging. I wonder if my youngest would have been more likely to be "free range" if I had made different choices with him? He was always more willing to do things with his friends, etc., without me. He likes having me around - they both do!, because I don't control or coerce them - but he'd more than likely be the one to vibe with being free range - as long as he knew I was available when he wanted.
Again, it comes down to being connected with your child and honoring who they are. You can be connected and not hover. It's about connecting with your kids and supporting them in remaining whole and centered, whatever that might look like for them. |
You're right, I understand that it is really important to take into consideration the child's particular wishes and needs. I'l glad I can learn from caring mothers like you, it's still theoretical in my head but when you lay it down it makes perfect sense.
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Originally Posted by carenkh It sounds like you'd really resonate with Sudbury Valley School. Are you familiar with them? There are Sudbury-type schools in lots of places. |
You bet! I first read A.S. Neil's essays on Summerhill when I was 16 and have kept looking into the democratic/free school models.