[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by backpocket

Adrienne, I LOVE your story about Doug. I think I have to start a fan club for him.:P

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

KittyWigs.com

And yes, that Doug story is beyond hilarious.

hehehe thanks guys.

Originally Posted by WanderingOak

Sale of a Lifetime

About 3 weeks ago, I took an old freezer burned smoked turkey out of my freezer at my warehouse and threw it in the dumpster. Pick up was the next morning early.

When the truck dumped the dumpster, the now thawed out turkey fell to the ground, about 4 feet from the dumpster.

We all joked about it as it layed there rotting in the sun, as to who was gonna pick it up and throw it away. Nobody, including me, stepped up and pitched it.

So, today, nearly 3 weeks of rotting in the sun, the thing smelled to high heaven. It was so nasty it was actually sinking into the asphalt pad.

I was standing outside, about 30 feet from it, waiting for my buddy to come by and pick me up for lunch, when an old red, beatup chevy pulled up to me.

This is the conversation which ensued:

Hey Man.....what the H stinks when I drive by here?

A turkey ( I pointed to the blob on the asphalt )

Whatya doin with a turkey out here like that?

( At that point, I decided to have some fun )

Curin' it.

Curin' it??? How come???

Makes good stink bait for catfishin'

Really??? I'm goin fishing tonight! How much you want for it?

( this is all true )

Well, I usually get $10 for 'em, but since this one ain't quite ready and you need it tonight, I'll take $5 for this one.

I'll take it! ( as he gets out of the car and hands me a fiver )

****now, this thing was as nasty as anything I could imagine. I wouldn't have picked it up with anything less than a shovel.****

Hey Man ( I said ), I think it'll be just about right tonight if you stow it in the trunk of your car for the rest of today. Heat in there is prolly just about right to finish it off.

Sounds good. ( said my turkey buyer )

*** He bent down and picked up this blob of plastic wrapped goo with his bare hands like he had just found a gold brick on the ground. I mean this was NASTY! Snotlike goo was dripping down through his fingers and hanging there like the contents of the wastecan at the Kleenex Testing Facility.

Into the trunk it went. At closing time tonight...we could still smell the funk hanging in the air where the mess had layed.*****

I am a salesman. I found my calling.


I hope he catches a fish tonight.

hahaha awesome thanks for the joke

Originally Posted by machoman

Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having s** with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.

The next day...

Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of S***!

This has been one of my favs for years! thanks for all the jokes