[Angela]

mtrimpe, accepting does not mean condoning. The world is as the world is, and you can accept it or you can resist it. Have you heard that saying, "what you resist persists"? The more you "can't accept" something, the more room it takes in your consciousness, and the more you'll try to fix it. The problem is, it will never be fixed -- you'll keep finding things you can't accept, and you'll find yourself living life on a hamster wheel.

When you accept something, you surrender your resistance to it. You accept that it is exactly as it is, and exactly as it isn't. You just let it be. When you've accepted that it is, at that point you're at a point of power. You can see the situation or person clearly, unclouded by your own resistance and emotional charge, and the appropriate action will call to you.

Start accepting; start at home. Look for something you "can't accept" about yourself. Then, see if you're willing to let go of resistance to it. (I often picture the quality as a physical thing, like a ball, in my abdomen, and visualize myself lifting it out and putting it down. I can usually feel "weight" lifting out of me when I do this.) If you're not willing to accept it (and again, that does not mean you condone it!), look for something else. Keep practicing letting go of resistance, and it gets easier and easier.

Like weight lifting, except exactly opposite!

I hope this is helpful. And I'm sorry about the 'ouch' -- but I think it would be much ouchier to realize this stuff when you're 20 years older and going through a divorce than when you're 24 and experiencing your first relationship.

Maybe you could plan a Valentine's Day party for yourself, where you ply yourself with love and acceptance! Mwah!

p.s. accepting also does NOT mean complacency. When you accept something, your personal power and effectiveness to transform it are through the roof! When you resist it, that means you're holding on to it tightly, strangely enough.