Hi Magenta, I need to teach myself to reply with quote, but in the mean time this is it.
If these two were divorced they would both be freely dating and would have been for years. As with the couple I am aquainted with they don't do that and still speak in terms of husband and wife. It's more than a formality, it's still a marriage and they act like it, except they don't hang out together, and they don't live together.
It doesn't sound like he has told her about you, which after all this time of separation he should feel free to do. It's odd. Maybe I am more curious than you about how all of this works, but if I were you I would ask him.
I would say something like, "So you've been separated 17 yr's, did you both agree it's ok to date other people?" Did you agree to tell each other if you did?" Stuff like that. Just tell him you're curious how it all works.
In my opinion it's the most important thing to know and I would find out! You have a right to know for your own peace of mind. Then again I know this is what would bother me the most, and I'm not you, so just take it as my opinion.
Let me know what you think! I hope it's going well for you.
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