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Originally Posted by drakecatz  Aw true love! I am also in my 50's and the love of my life happened at age 33. Sometimes you just know.
Clearly you are not willing to move, and your guy has his own restaurant in his town. I wanted to move when my son was 15, and was surprised at my son's willingness to go. It competely changed his life as will as mine. Maybe your childs path is someplace new. |
My son wants to move to the UK! LOL He's into his "British" phase, I guess. He's even loving rainy days...not MY cup of tea, that's for sure! (although I DO love tea! LOL)
I've casually mentioned it, but he doesn't want to move to a place that's sunny all the time. Boy, I sure do.
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I am wondering what is up with the 17 year separation from your guys wife? Is he Catholic and not going to ever get a divorce? How close is he with his wife? He gave you money for your divorce and didn't mention getting one himself?
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Well, I guess there really wasn't a reason to. Yes, he's Catholic, but I don't think he's devout. He told me he wished he had done it 15 years ago, but he let it go. Now, he knows that he'll lose half of everything, and he doesn't mind that, he said he doesn't want to lose more than that, though. His youngest is 17 and he doesn't want to divorce until she's 18.
He hadn't been bothering much with the wife, although she had come into the restaurant to work and he put her on the payroll, so that when the divorce comes around, he can show that she's able to work. But now she has breast cancer and he said he's trying to at least be nice to her because of that. He's not interested in her in any other respect. He told me she's a wonderful mother, but a terrible wife. Her last chemo was last week and she got very, very sick and this week the doc saw something in her colon, so I'm not sure where they're at with that. I feel awful for her, and I hope for their children's sake that she gets better. She's scheduled for surgery sometime this month to take out the breast tumor. I was going to fly down to see him, but I don't want to go while this is all going on. Things need to settle down first. I don't want to complicate things for him right now.
He told me he's retained 3 of the toughest lawyers in town so that she can't retain them. So, he's working on it.
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It might be time to ask him the tough questions like that and find out what his thoughts and intentions are toward you so you will know where you stand! I know sometimes we don't ask questions we need to as we fear the possible rejection, but I would do so with him.
I would write down everything you want to know, it will help you know how you're really feeling, then you can go from there.
It really is best to know! Good luck!
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He told me he was so happy I found him, and that we need to get to know each other again. Who we were back then, isn't totally who we are now. Fundamentally, I believe we're the same...but 34 years of life experiences does change a person. So, being 1000 miles away is going to take time to get to know each other. I know this will take time, but patience isn't one of my virtues! Although I'm attempting to cultivate it in myself now.
He'll be getting his birthday package from me today via UPS, so I can't WAIT until he gets it. One of the items I had commissioned someone on etsy.com to make for me. It consists of 34 beads, each one represents a birthday of his that I missed over the 34 years when I didn't know where he was, along with a quote engraved on sterling silver that reads: Look For The Dream That Keeps Coming Back...It Is Your Destiny.
Also, since finding him, the word "destiny" keeps showing up for me in various ways.
That means a LOT!
Are you still with the love of your life?
Thank you so much for your response!
