Totga - If you honestly want to stop drinking (which it sounds like you do) and you can't stop, then you have a problem. It's that simple. Please do not let all of the other thoughts in your mind and what others tell you confuse the issue.
"After the first few chapters, as it was with the smoking book, I could feel the scales starting to fall from my eyes. I have read half of it so far, and already I know I never really want to drink alcohol again. A new chapter in my life is opening, and I figured I may as well share some of the journey with you."
This quote here from you illustrates my point. You already know that you never want to drink alcohol again, and yet, you keep drinking. This is not the behavior of a normal drinker. People who don't have a problem with alcohol do not contemplate over and over how they are going quit, they just quit.
"This is all behind me now though thanks to this rather odd little book. What I now realise is that alcohol isn’t something that helps me relax: it just numbs the pain. It’s not trendy and cool: it’s just peer pressure telling me I should behave a certain way. It’s not something I enjoy the taste of: the other stuff in the glass used to mask the flavour of alcohol is what I’m really enjoying the taste of. I don’t enjoy getting drunk, I actually dislike that bit quite a lot: it’s the friends I’m hanging out with I like. I certainly don’t enjoy the hangover the next morning: my body is reacting to a poison that my liver hates, dehydrates me, and leaves my stomach feeling awful."
This paragraph is full of things that you said that point to you most likely being an alcoholic. First, normal drinkers do not drink alcohol on a regular basis to "numb the pain." Second, you make excuses basically convincing yourself that what you are doing is OK such as, telling yourself, "you don't really like the taste." (Then why do you keep drinking?) Third, you don't like waking up dehydrated, stomach aching and in a hellish hungover state, yet, it keeps happening to you over and over again.
Normal drinkers get 1, maybe 2 times of being extremely hung over before they tell themselves, "I'm never doing this again!" And then guess what they do? They never do it again.
Your story has tons of other examples that point to you being an alcoholic, however; I will not get into all of them now. Also, only you can decide for yourself with 100% surety that you are an alcoholic. Although, it is good to discuss this with a sponsor to help you figure this out.
Please do not take my directness offensively. I've been there brother - I am both an addict and an alcoholic who abused alcohol and drugs for about 11 years. And today, I have about 4 years of sobriety, however, I needed to do a lot of work to get to where I am today.
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