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My family annoys me, but my first priority is making sure they'll live for another day, and doing the best I can to love them. Just trying to decide what I'd do if I was full of love, and completely absent of fear...
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I find this line to be the most compelling.
As I read your post I started to notice all the options you are being confronted with. You talk a lot about your situation. You seem to have a clear understanding of the dynamics. The thing that is missing throughout the whole post (until the end) is what is most important to you. What are your priorities?
Now, you have listed your top priority in the post. I suggest you make an ordered list of all your priorities. Keep that list around for when you are thinking about your choices. Some of the choices will automatically be picked for you when you notice that you've choosen one option to be a higher priority.
Now, for a little opinionation on my part. I would focus on the grad school. While I value my family, I let them take care of themselves. Education / schooling is still one of the best ways to grow yourself and enrich your life. It's not the right choice for everyone, but it's a pretty damn good choice for most. I'll double emphasize this because you have access to a lot of scholarship money.