Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Anyone been in or know someone whose been the "straight spouse" in a relationship?

VetTechJess · 05-31-2009, 07:11 AM

I was thinking about my current situation. I found out some more things that more or less confirm that my bf is bisexual. I have been to numerous websites and support groups including the straight spouse network. I find myself grateful that we never married, however that doesn't change the fact there is a child on the way.

Ive read different things from couples who stay in whats called "mixed orientation marriages" and "brokeback marriages" along with a few other things. They say its NOT my fault and that theres nothing I coulda done to change that. However, it doesn't change the fact it FEELS like my fault. That being said I know damn well I didn't "turn" him bisexual. I just feel used and pissed and betrayed that it took him being in a relationship with ME for 4½ years to bring out his inner bisexual.

I have NOTHING against gay or bisexual ppl. I have plenty of gay/bi friends. However every single last one of them tell me that they side with me on the fact that he shoulda been honest with me upfront before I got so deeply emotionally involved with him. That I agree with 100% but then again not many women think about that simple fact. No woman/Man should go about life in a romantic relationship wondering as to whether or not their partner is straight. Now if they happen to find out and/or know beforehand and are okay with it--thats different--to each their own--

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced my situation or know someone who has? It would be great to know I am not alone in this journey. All I know is Time Heals All Wounds No Matter How Painful.

I could sure use some advice and support!

Thanks!

05-31-2009, 07:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
VetTechJess Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 277	Anyone been in or know someone whose been the "straight spouse" in a relationship? I was thinking about my current situation. I found out some more things that more or less confirm that my bf is bisexual. I have been to numerous websites and support groups including the straight spouse network. I find myself grateful that we never married, however that doesn't change the fact there is a child on the way. Ive read different things from couples who stay in whats called "mixed orientation marriages" and "brokeback marriages" along with a few other things. They say its NOT my fault and that theres nothing I coulda done to change that. However, it doesn't change the fact it FEELS like my fault. That being said I know damn well I didn't "turn" him bisexual. I just feel used and pissed and betrayed that it took him being in a relationship with ME for 4½ years to bring out his inner bisexual. I have NOTHING against gay or bisexual ppl. I have plenty of gay/bi friends. However every single last one of them tell me that they side with me on the fact that he shoulda been honest with me upfront before I got so deeply emotionally involved with him. That I agree with 100% but then again not many women think about that simple fact. No woman/Man should go about life in a romantic relationship wondering as to whether or not their partner is straight. Now if they happen to find out and/or know beforehand and are okay with it--thats different--to each their own-- I was wondering if anyone else has experienced my situation or know someone who has? It would be great to know I am not alone in this journey. All I know is Time Heals All Wounds No Matter How Painful. I could sure use some advice and support! Thanks!