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Chris htbc · 01-26-2007, 01:50 PM

A couple of points I can think of:

-A lot of people are benignly thoughtless and unrelialble about these things. Similarly, some people are more lax and laidback about returning calls, following up on messages, etc. Try not to take it as personally if you have to keep on them a little. You may want to lower your standard that says every person you meet must be really keen after only a few days. Be more realistic about where you slot into their lives as a new guy they met the other day. Also if you're meeting these new people on the weekends, you may just not be on their radar during the following work week when they have other concerns.

-As the new guy trying to get a social life together the onus is largely on you to make it happen. They've already got their group of friends and won't die if nothing develops with you. Don't worry too much about seeming needy if you have to follow up a few times. As long as you truly aren't desperate it shouldn't hurt you. Try to think in more practical terms - that you'll work at it and do what you need to do to get a group of friends going. Make it about you and what you want, not that the world will end if a few people think you're too eager.

-What about the circumstances under which you're meeting these people? Drunkingly agreeing to 'hang out sometime' with a guy at a bar is obviously going to be less fruitful than someone you meet through friends or in a club. Finally, are you trying to hang out with people who seem like good long term friends or just anyone you have a friendly conversation with? There's no need to be too picky of course, but maybe you're casting the net too wide?...

Hope that helps!

01-26-2007, 01:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chris htbc Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 4	A couple of points I can think of: -A lot of people are benignly thoughtless and unrelialble about these things. Similarly, some people are more lax and laidback about returning calls, following up on messages, etc. Try not to take it as personally if you have to keep on them a little. You may want to lower your standard that says every person you meet must be really keen after only a few days. Be more realistic about where you slot into their lives as a new guy they met the other day. Also if you're meeting these new people on the weekends, you may just not be on their radar during the following work week when they have other concerns. -As the new guy trying to get a social life together the onus is largely on you to make it happen. They've already got their group of friends and won't die if nothing develops with you. Don't worry too much about seeming needy if you have to follow up a few times. As long as you truly aren't desperate it shouldn't hurt you. Try to think in more practical terms - that you'll work at it and do what you need to do to get a group of friends going. Make it about you and what you want, not that the world will end if a few people think you're too eager. -What about the circumstances under which you're meeting these people? Drunkingly agreeing to 'hang out sometime' with a guy at a bar is obviously going to be less fruitful than someone you meet through friends or in a club. Finally, are you trying to hang out with people who seem like good long term friends or just anyone you have a friendly conversation with? There's no need to be too picky of course, but maybe you're casting the net too wide?... Hope that helps! Last edited by Chris htbc; 01-26-2007 at 01:56 PM.