Leroy7,
I wrote a post called "Letter To A Widow" on my blog, link below. It's about exactly what you're going through now, grieving over the loss of a loved one. You might find it comforting and even helpful in dealing with the feelings your experiencing right now. As a physician, I've watched too many families deal with this sort of thing and as you can obviously tell from the many responses you've already received, you are not alone.
Letter To A Widow « Happiness in this World