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DQueens · 01-26-2007, 04:36 AM

Trina,
you started your post off with stating that you and your sister have different points of view and attitudes when it comes to food and weight. However, after reading your description of both your attitudes i beg to differ. It seems that both of you are suffering from the pressures of society to be thin, or to fit a certain stereotype. Both of you feel uncomfortable in your bodies. You say your sister diets and over-exercises when she feels fat which is "all the time" and you also express your own displeasure with your body. However, the approach both of you take to control your feelings about food and your body are what is different. let me just point out that one method is not healther than the other. While you may feel that you are overweight and that your sister has a perfect body, she is also controlling her weight in ways that, to me, seem unhealthy. But that's not my point. My point is that whereever your body dissatisfaction is coming from, be it your childhood doctor experience, sibling rivalry, media-driven body ideals etc, you can change it.

The first thing you need to recognize is how to separate the way you feel about your body from your body itself. You say that if you remain fat you can just focus on being a good person, and not worry about weihgt. Perhaps you feel that, like your sister, staying thin requires a certain amount of body obsession. This does not have to be so. The next time you think of someone you know, who seems relatively comfortable in their own skin (this is usually someone fairly athletic) ask yourself if they maintain their weight by obsessing about calories and exercise and celebrity images. I think you may come to realize that making a committment to being healthy does not require you to "sell your soul" to a world of dieting and food phobia or self loathing. This kind of realization, however, as well as a way to deal with emotional eating are things that you should perhaps seek professional help from. Either a psychologist, a weight watchers meeting, or a doctor (hopefully a different one from the one you went to as a child) that can help you separate your emotions from food and help you view food as a source of fuel, rather than a reward. most of all, however, I hope that you seek help to find out that being a good person in no way is connected to outward physical appearance and in absolutely no way to a number on a scale or a jeans size.

You also mentioned that you have so much weight to lose that it seems almost like a lost battle. Weight loss can seem like an impossible task, as can climbing a mountain, or running a marathon. But when you divide this task into small steps, such as each step you run, or each foot higher you get, it becomes a much more manageable task. I suggest you do some reasearch on google and find out what a healthy weight is for your height. Then, once you know the ultimate goal, i suggest you focus on losing 1 pound at a time. If you measure your success in small victories, rather than focussing on what still needs to be done, or what else you have yet to accomplish i think you will find that you will feel much more encouraged and motivated to strive for your goal. Divide your weight loss into chunks of 5 or 10 pounds and plan a reward for yourself once you reach your goal weight, such as a new pair of pants, a DVD you've been wanting, a manicure etc.
Losing weight is not easy, but it is a possible task, that you are fully capable of, if you decide to make it your goal. google.com can link you to a lot of information regarding healthy dietting and weightloss. If you break your task down, eg: week 1 - research, week 2 - come up with a weight loss plan, week 3 - start eating 5-10 vegetables a day etc etc. then it becomes a much more achievable goal.

I'm sorry that this post was so long, and i really hope that you can find help for your body image issues. I'll admit that our society is dysfunctional in the way we view our bodies and our health but keep in mind that health is your biggest resource, and not a fashion statement. while the trend may be small and skinny, it does not necessarily fit everyone. It is important to focus on your health, and not confuse your physical appearance with personal worth or value. Good luck, and please post to update your situation, if you like!

01-26-2007, 04:36 AM	#20 (permalink)
DQueens Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 65	Trina, you started your post off with stating that you and your sister have different points of view and attitudes when it comes to food and weight. However, after reading your description of both your attitudes i beg to differ. It seems that both of you are suffering from the pressures of society to be thin, or to fit a certain stereotype. Both of you feel uncomfortable in your bodies. You say your sister diets and over-exercises when she feels fat which is "all the time" and you also express your own displeasure with your body. However, the approach both of you take to control your feelings about food and your body are what is different. let me just point out that one method is not healther than the other. While you may feel that you are overweight and that your sister has a perfect body, she is also controlling her weight in ways that, to me, seem unhealthy. But that's not my point. My point is that whereever your body dissatisfaction is coming from, be it your childhood doctor experience, sibling rivalry, media-driven body ideals etc, you can change it. The first thing you need to recognize is how to separate the way you feel about your body from your body itself. You say that if you remain fat you can just focus on being a good person, and not worry about weihgt. Perhaps you feel that, like your sister, staying thin requires a certain amount of body obsession. This does not have to be so. The next time you think of someone you know, who seems relatively comfortable in their own skin (this is usually someone fairly athletic) ask yourself if they maintain their weight by obsessing about calories and exercise and celebrity images. I think you may come to realize that making a committment to being healthy does not require you to "sell your soul" to a world of dieting and food phobia or self loathing. This kind of realization, however, as well as a way to deal with emotional eating are things that you should perhaps seek professional help from. Either a psychologist, a weight watchers meeting, or a doctor (hopefully a different one from the one you went to as a child) that can help you separate your emotions from food and help you view food as a source of fuel, rather than a reward. most of all, however, I hope that you seek help to find out that being a good person in no way is connected to outward physical appearance and in absolutely no way to a number on a scale or a jeans size. You also mentioned that you have so much weight to lose that it seems almost like a lost battle. Weight loss can seem like an impossible task, as can climbing a mountain, or running a marathon. But when you divide this task into small steps, such as each step you run, or each foot higher you get, it becomes a much more manageable task. I suggest you do some reasearch on google and find out what a healthy weight is for your height. Then, once you know the ultimate goal, i suggest you focus on losing 1 pound at a time. If you measure your success in small victories, rather than focussing on what still needs to be done, or what else you have yet to accomplish i think you will find that you will feel much more encouraged and motivated to strive for your goal. Divide your weight loss into chunks of 5 or 10 pounds and plan a reward for yourself once you reach your goal weight, such as a new pair of pants, a DVD you've been wanting, a manicure etc. Losing weight is not easy, but it is a possible task, that you are fully capable of, if you decide to make it your goal. google.com can link you to a lot of information regarding healthy dietting and weightloss. If you break your task down, eg: week 1 - research, week 2 - come up with a weight loss plan, week 3 - start eating 5-10 vegetables a day etc etc. then it becomes a much more achievable goal. I'm sorry that this post was so long, and i really hope that you can find help for your body image issues. I'll admit that our society is dysfunctional in the way we view our bodies and our health but keep in mind that health is your biggest resource, and not a fashion statement. while the trend may be small and skinny, it does not necessarily fit everyone. It is important to focus on your health, and not confuse your physical appearance with personal worth or value. Good luck, and please post to update your situation, if you like!