[jeff3]

I've read and re-read this thread and either I'm missing it or Rose is projecting, I don't see any mention of her daughter being hurt. Possibly she is projecting her fears into what she is seeing. I understand the "gut feeling" , but I also know that my hopes and fears often are reflected in my perceptions. While it would be tragic to ignore something that needs attention it could be unnecessarily painful for your daughter and the BF if you are wrong.

I would suggest reading up on signs and symptoms of abusive relationships and taking a closer look. Either the guy is abusive or he is not. No only means "no" to someone who was taught that it does.I have actually had women tell me that no means "try harder", so from personal experience, "no does not always mean no."

You could have your daughter just tell him that when she says, "I really mean it, you have to stop" that she is dead serious and any further action is an offense. Make sure he understands that and that it is a serious matter and there are no exceptions, if he doesn't comply she should eject. A good example is my GF's 5 year old boy, he is a typical, high strung, only child of a single parent.....he has a little trouble with "no". To him, no means "try harder", and since I understand that in life sometimes "no" does mean try harder, whether it be in business or just situations in general I chose to leave him some room for exercising some persuasiveness.But, if I say "I am serious" before any statement, it is to be respected or punishment of some form follows. This works pretty good.

Also keep in mind that abusive relationships are a two way street and if he is attracted to her (and he is indeed an abuser) it is for a reason and running him off will only open the door for the next one until she makes whatever changes are necessary to stop attracting abusive guys. A lot of people don't want to hear that because they think I'm saying it's their fault. It's not that, it's simply some belief she holds that makes her a match for the beliefs the guy has. Sometimes it an obvious self esteem issue, but other times it not easy to see what it is.

BTW: I'm all for self defense classes. It increases situational awareness, improves confidence, self esteem, and lessens the chances of being targeted by predators.