Quote:
Originally Posted by Deergirl  You made a huge step forward by figuring out what happened.
I think internet dating wouldn't be a bad idea for you. It's a really good exercise in finding out how to flirt, how to get to know a girl, how to not worry too much when someone doesn't reply to your messages,... I did it last year as a social experiment as well. Just like you, I was rather shy when it came down to meeting guys in a romantic way. I always tried to be a "buddy" and was very successful at being "just friends". Signing up at an online dating site forced me to try to be more than just friends with a guy. I went through a lot of awkward situations but I learned so much about body language, getting disappointed (frequently) and general social skills through it. And I gained a lot of confidence as well. In the end I did meet a guy with who I just connected straight away. Our first date lasted nine hours. Go figure. And he became my boyfriend. Awww... 
Other ways to show you are interested in a person aside from asking questions are:
- touching them. When they say something funny, touch their upper arm for example, but don't over do it.
- eye contact, don't underestimate the power of eye contact.
- smile and laugh a lot, it's scientifically proven that smiling people are more attractive. Than again, it's just a nice thing to do. Be funny, use that sense of humor that you've got. Girls like a good sense of humor in a guy.
- listen to what the other person is telling, let them finish their story. You can show that you are listening by nodding or by just saying "yeah" every once in a while
- be original in your dates, take her to the zoo instead of yet another bar  It shows that you do want to make an effort for her.
You can find tons of these stuff online and in books. I hope it works out for you. I can only encourage you to do this and go for it whenever you feel the time it right. |
Thanks for your reply!
I think at this stage in my life, I'm not totally ready for dating, I've just bought a house, (I'm 27 if anyone wonders) and so I've got to get all of that stuff sorted out, plus I've got to finish this assignment and stuff and the study I'm doing. Get all of that out of the way. Then I'll probably work on building confidence and having a more outgoing and interesting life.
I think the sense of humour thing is just a matter of being relaxed. Like if you tell a funny joke, in a dead serious tone, it won't be funny, so it's just a matter of being relaxed and having fun on the date, rather than too serious, then sense of humour comes through naturally. 90% of communication non-verbal. Also, I'll make sure I never try and get as many details as possible through email, maybe just a bit of background so when I meet then I have stuff to talk about, and then get to know in person..
What are your thoughts about people on internet dating? lots of freaks? lots of normal people? I suppose it's the same as meeting someone in another context. I suppose everybody's got their good and bad points..