Quote:
Originally Posted by Angela  That's great -- and thanks for taking on my questions, it means a lot to me. Try this on, to help you get to the decision (the "initiating incident"): "I must not make up stories and that means that I am ________." Keep going with "......and THAT means that I am _____" until you hear yourself saying the decision that *clicks* into place for you -- you'll know it when you get there, because it will feel VERY familiar to you. |
Okay, I'm there!
The two parts are separate for me. The first is "I must not make up stories", which goes to my perception of myself as a person who relays facts (journalist), not someone who writes fiction (story-writer). This is something I'll think on later because while it's true (in as far as it's a limiting belief I have) it's not relevant right here.
The second is "I am not good enough if I do not have what others have". This took a while to work out because I actually don't care much for what my possessions say about me, although I do care for things I find beautiful, if that makes sense.
But C is someone who cares deeply about the validation of external trappings, and when I think about it, I now realise she saw as my job as being about validating external trappings. So our conflict came because we were trying to achieve different things through me. It pushed my buttons because she wanted me to care about something I don't really care about, and I was turning that into a personal judgment on myself. And it pushed her buttons because I don't care about something that she sees as an important form of validation.
HOLY ♥♥♥♥♥. I JUST GOT THIS. I can't believe it took me so long.
Okay there are a lot of lessons I can take from this and apply to my life.
Thank you so much Angela! I know there's no invoice coming, but do you have a 'donate' button on your site?!