Quote:
Originally Posted by Indiana  However I have to imagine that if C treats me badly, it's because she has decided I am bad and she is good. |
That's okay if she makes those judgements about you, because it doesn't mean anything about you. It would mean something about you, though, as you've noticed, if you indulge in judgements about here -- it means you'd be limited in your ability to influence the situation, just as she is if she makes judgements like that. Does that give you access to some compassion for her?
Quote:
It's actually the first time I've tried something like this so I feel like the answers are taking some work. My instant response to the first situation was: "I must not make up stories".... very interesting for someone who writes for a living!
But I feel like that's only half of it, and I'm still looking for the 'I am ______'. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here, as I'm trying to grab at something that I can apply to both the situations and get some answers in the second. I'm still going!!
|
That's great -- and thanks for taking on my questions, it means a lot to me. Try this on, to help you get to the decision (the "initiating incident"): "I must not make up stories and that means that I am ________." Keep going with "......and THAT means that I am _____" until you hear yourself saying the decision that *clicks* into place for you -- you'll know it when you get there, because it will feel VERY familiar to you.
It can take some looking -- the decision designs itself so that it's hard to find. One thing I find is that the decision itself is often what gets in the way of realizing it.