em, sorry to continue the hijack, but it might be useful for G5etbox too.
If you want to release your own guilt about other people, you can ask them directly for forgiveness, but don't expect them to forgive you. That is still their choice.
However, you should not continue to feel guilt even if they decide not to forgive you. That is their choice to hold onto the negative feelings.
Keeping this in mind, it isn't actually necessary to meet someone to ask their forgiveness. The real reason we should ask for forgiveness is to release our own negative feelings, be they guilt, anger, regret etc.
This confession, even just to yoruself, of your percieved sins is to relieve you of them.
Imagine yourself meeting the person, confessing to them that you are sorry for what you did, and you want to be free from the weight of it and ask them for forgiveness. Then imagine them forgiving you, and release all the guilt.
Then actually forgive yourself. You did the same things that every person does, what you thought was best at the time. Any person, given your past, and put in that situation would have made the same choices you did. There is nothing to feel guilty about.
The only productive thing you can do is resolve not do the same things in the future.
As for G5etbox, you are in a tough spot champ. I admire your loyalty and tenacity, but one sometimes has to think about oneself.
It may be difficult to meet a new person, especially with limited time. But the best method I have found is to imagine the perfect person for you. Then think about what she would do, and where she would go. Then in your limited free time, go there and do those things. You will meet that person eventually.
e.g. You want an athletic person, hang out at Gyms, not bars. An intellectual, try a library, bookshop, or join a literary group. Someone into personal development, try this website! err. well you get the idea anyway.
Follow ALG's advice, get some meditative rest and ditch the guilt.
If the son's girlfriend is your perfect girl, then maybe you should risk the ire and go for it. But if she is not your perfect girl, and you are interested just because she is there and seemingly willing, let her go.
It will not be worth the grief, unless there is some really good gravy there. |