Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpio  I also second all the posters who said "guys care about looks, expecting otherwise is unrealistic". We're attracted to the whole package, but if one or more elements starts to slide, our attraction levels are naturally going to go down. |
This is an interesting quote, and the ones related to it.
I want to point out that my points below are based on something fundamental to a persons character, and NOT based around temporary events which are usually obvious.
Some people simply act differently when you are dating, when you get serious, and when you get married. If your partner changes on these circumstances I think a re-evaluation is natural and good.
It's considered very politically incorrect to dump/reject a person because of their looks. But it is usually perfectly acceptable to do so if their personality is unattractive.
Why are the two treated differently? If my partner's body shape changed, there is just as much chance of my feelings changing as if her personality changed. The primary one here though would be feelings of sexual attraction to her.
It wouldn't make her any less desireable to talk to, but when the roll in the hay becomes the heave, lever, lift and hernia in the hay, it looses it's appeal.
On the flip side if she became a b$#% or abusive, but was hot as heck then I would probably still want to sleep with her, but apart from that not want spend any time with her.
Obviously neither of these is ideal, and a relationship that lacks sexual attraction or lacks friendship isn't going to be a satisfying one for either party.
If you aren't satisfied for any reason, physical, or personality, then you are probably with the wrong partner.
Because of my own feelings on this I do my best to keep my physical appearance appealing to my partner, and my temperament also. If my partner doesn't have the same self respect and respect for their partner, then we won't last long. Not because one of us is better than the other, but simply because we are incompatible.
If your partners body, or temperament change when your realtionship curcumstances do, (eg getting married or becoming boyfriend etc.) Then it's like buying a product at a shop, then when you open it at home it's totally different and not at all what you wanted. What was ON the box is not what is IN the box.
Why are we obliged to keep the partner but returning the product which changed is perfectly acceptable?