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nhaasch · 05-21-2009, 05:58 PM

You have conflicting ideas about what emotions are suppose to be. On one hand you believe you can control them and on the other hand you believe that they are an expression of something already inside of you.

You need to develop a deeper understanding of your emotions. Yes, you can affect your emotions. And, yes your emotions express something going on inside of you. What if both of these things are true? What are the consequences?

I think of my emotions like I think of a relationship to a person. I can influence people to think and feel a certain way. Still, the change is not going to more permament unless i've created a rich understanding for them on how it helps them to feel and think certain ways. I might be able to find cheap tricks to make a friend happy for a moment or two, but that doesn't change the underlying structure. They'll go back to feeling as they felt previous. Similiarly I can't just tell my friend to feel a certain way.

As with a relationship, I've began to develop trust with my emotions. What this means to me is that sometimes I'm going to feel a certain way. Sometimes it is negative. I have to accept that I really do feel that. That builds trust when you accept what your emotions are saying. Still, once there is trust established you can begin to negotiate with the emotions to figure out why they are feeling that way and what might make them feel better. Sometimes simply accepting them is enough. Sometimes it means I must change a thought, belief, or aspect of my life.

Now, some people will likely disgree with me. There is compelling evidence that you can through some force change emotional patterns. And, i'm inclined to believe this approach works too. However you are trying and you are getting resisted. If you want to continue you approach you may attempt to work with those moching parts. Your intent is to be postive. You as well as those parts know that you want to be positive because it will help you. Those parts moching you may be merely challenging you to see how strong your intent is. You may discover a way to show those parts the stregth of your intent. If you do, they'll likely be quiet.

05-21-2009, 05:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
nhaasch Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 122	You have conflicting ideas about what emotions are suppose to be. On one hand you believe you can control them and on the other hand you believe that they are an expression of something already inside of you. You need to develop a deeper understanding of your emotions. Yes, you can affect your emotions. And, yes your emotions express something going on inside of you. What if both of these things are true? What are the consequences? I think of my emotions like I think of a relationship to a person. I can influence people to think and feel a certain way. Still, the change is not going to more permament unless i've created a rich understanding for them on how it helps them to feel and think certain ways. I might be able to find cheap tricks to make a friend happy for a moment or two, but that doesn't change the underlying structure. They'll go back to feeling as they felt previous. Similiarly I can't just tell my friend to feel a certain way. As with a relationship, I've began to develop trust with my emotions. What this means to me is that sometimes I'm going to feel a certain way. Sometimes it is negative. I have to accept that I really do feel that. That builds trust when you accept what your emotions are saying. Still, once there is trust established you can begin to negotiate with the emotions to figure out why they are feeling that way and what might make them feel better. Sometimes simply accepting them is enough. Sometimes it means I must change a thought, belief, or aspect of my life. Now, some people will likely disgree with me. There is compelling evidence that you can through some force change emotional patterns. And, i'm inclined to believe this approach works too. However you are trying and you are getting resisted. If you want to continue you approach you may attempt to work with those moching parts. Your intent is to be postive. You as well as those parts know that you want to be positive because it will help you. Those parts moching you may be merely challenging you to see how strong your intent is. You may discover a way to show those parts the stregth of your intent. If you do, they'll likely be quiet.