loveliketheflowers, you sound like an extremely intelligent woman. I have no worries about your future success.
You will come to realize that the best way out of pain is to go through it. Don't deny it, don't resist it or fight it. Don't trick yourself by saying you didn't love him - you did, or that you guys didn't care about each other - you did.
The trick is not to stop the pain, but to use it to your advantage. You will never forget this period in your life. Don't try to forget it. Resistance is closing yourself to what is. Rather, embrace it - open yourself fully. I know it is difficult and scary...but until you do, these pains will continue to haunt you.
When you learn to accept the pain and come to peace with it, you will be glad that you didn't forget about this moment.
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